God Moments

As well as the challenging moments in the camp there were also times that really really opened my eyes to God's power and faithfulness. I wasn't really aiming to find God when I came here because as far as I was aware - I already had received Jesus into my life. But my prayer was that God would work in my heart and change me so that there was less of ME in me and more of Jesus. but since I've been in Thailand I've experienced and learnt things about God on a much deeper, more intimate, honest and much more REAL level. And learning these things have also lead to to learning so much about myself and the kind of person I've chosen to be. This hasn't been as romantic as it sounds. It's been a year of facing some harsh realities, humbling situations and huge battles. It's been a time of refinement and looking at the state of my heart, which has been a bit of a mess. Other times have just been times of revelation and bowing in worship to a sovereign and faithful Father God.

There's been so many moments which to some are either going to sound mushy, weird, nice... Seeing as I'm reflecting at the moment on my time in the camp I'm just going to mention a couple of the things from being in the camp that really opened my eyes to God's presence in my life and his faithfulness. Some of them may be those "you had to be there moments" and I guess only the Holy Spirit can bridge the gap between the things that are lost in translation from my writing, to your reading of my testimony.

I was really blessed by God's provision of friends when I was living in Bang Muang. There was a YWAM team in who I clicked with in particular and I was able to meet with the team in the mornings for prayer and some bible study and worship in the morning which was really refreshing to me - since the Thai ones at the Phantasanja tent in the evening were, well... in Thai for a start. The team were a huge support I prayer, friendship and even guidance with a few cultural differences I was fast becoming aware of.

Other teams came in and out of the camp regularly and it was just amazing how well it was often timed. One team from Calvary chapel in the states were a huge blessing. There was a group of girls who would come to the tent and just give me the boost I needed to get through the day when things were getting hard or tiring. At one point I had been really praying about having a way to get out of the camp when I needed some time out. With the amount of rice I was eating I was quite keen to exercise. I was thinking for a while about getting a bicycle, but not knowing how long I would be in the area. Anyway I wasn't really sure if this was a good think to invest in, or whether it was just a passing fad. So for a while I just prayed about it. I saw the girls from the Calvary chapel team a few times and I can remember them advising me to make sure I took some time out for myself, and they must have picked up on my keenness for exercise as I had started jogging every morning. On their last day their whole team turned up to say goodbye and presented me with a bike. I was totally speechless. I just felt so blessed by God that he knew me so well.

During that time I was so keen to help and give to others but it seemed that God was also teaching me to receive from others.

The teams were often busy with various projects during the day so I did the prayer walking on my own. There were times when I would walk and read my bible (often stubbing my toe for not looking where I was going) and I was just filled with such an overwhelming feeling over love and compassion like I'd never felt before. I can remember one particular time that I was so overwhelmed with this feeling that I just didn't know what to do or where to channel it. I felt like my heart was too small to contain it and I just wanted to be able to communicate God's love to the people I was praying for. But all I could do was pray that God would grow my heart and continue to fill it so that my attitude and actions towards these people would always be an attitude of love from the overflow of the love god had put in me. By myself I was able to do nothing but the compassion that God was putting in me was enabling me to intercede and fall in love with these people. I prayed that God would give me His heart and His eyes to see these people as he sees them. And I believe that's one of the miracles that was beginning to happen in my heart.

Sometimes when I would walk and pray I would pray songs on behalf of the people. Other times I would read scriptures on their behalf. But I really wanted to be able to tell people that I was praying for them and why. One day I was thinking about this and just asking God how I could tell people. One of the leaders of the Thai YWAM office had a slot on the radio station for a few hours each day which actually ran from one of the little wooden shacks in the camp. On this particular day I was walking across the camp and saw one of the team and they just casually dropped into the sentence "oh by the way, you're on the radio tomorrow to talk about your prayer walking." So the next day I spent an hour being interviewed with Ghan who also interpreted for me. I shared a bit about the power of prayer but also from the spiritual perspective that Jesus's disciples went out praying and teaching people from village to village. I believed that even though I couldn't speak their language, that I would still be able to build a relationship with the people and share God's love with them I was also proclaiming God's victory and healing for the land and the people I believe he wanted... and still wants to bless and heal and save.

I shared with them Ephesians 6: 10 -12

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

I just felt that spiritually this was a battle ground and I wanted to pray for God's peace, protection and restoration over these shattered lives. Following that day - my walk around the camp would be broken by invitations in to houses, gifts (mainly vegetables) and people approaching me to ask me to pray for them. I suddenly realised that God had answered another prayer... suddenly I found I was able to communicate with people... with a lot of sign language. But my Thai was improving.

It was a real privilege to live in the Mother and Child centre. I would sleep on the floor under a mosquito net - but I honestly can't remember sleeping so well... that is, until the rainy season started. I felt so blessed to have the opportunity to be so immersed in a Thai community and to be involved in such a special way. A lot of the people who were coming to the tent in the evenings for bible study were people who I'd seen be baptised by Anurak in Pattalung. I just wished I could understand what they were saying. But most nights I would just sit and listen.

I talked on an earlier blog about the old lady I unknowingly agreed to live with. She came to the centre for quite a while. She had such sad eyes. She would just talk and talk. So many times I would try to tell her I didn't understand. But I would just pray for her. The main thing that I prayed for her was that she would know God's joy and that she would feel joy in her heart. One day, soon after that, I had a translator with me and she had a really sad story. I felt even more fuelled to pray for her to have an injection of joy. On a particular night she came and I sat there praying over and over again that she would know the joy of the Lord. Everyone was sitting and chatting. I have no idea what they were talking about. But this lady (her name was Lek) was talking a fair bit and suddenly her face just lit up and she just collapsed into a fit of giggles. Then for the next 2 hours everyone was just in fits of laughter. And Lek more than anyone was laughing so much she gave herself a stomach ache.

She gave me vegetables and sweet potatoes from her little vegetable stall everyday. I loved her so much !